Vacanze Romane: day two

I slipped into a waiting taxi near the Pantheon and watched the meter climb as we raced toward Vatican City. Fidgeting, I was miserable. My watch read 8:25am and I had to be at the Vatican's Excavation Office by 8:45am for a tour that is so exclusive, it generally needs to be booked months in advance. I had contacted the Vatican immediately after booking my flight to Rome for the Scavi Tour, an intimate visit to the necropolis underneath St. Peter's Basilica, where the tomb of St. Peter is purportedly located. Though I am an atheist with agnostic tendencies, I did not fly thousands of miles only to miss this shit.

Except that I would probably miss it. You see, because of the accusations of money laundering against the Vatican, the Italians have stopped providing the Vatican with credit card authorization operations. Because I have a terrible habit of not carrying cash, I had exactly 20 Euros left and needed 13 Euros for the tour. Surprise of surprises, the ride cost 11 Euros.

I stared ahead with bated breath as barreled down Via della Conciliziazione, toward Vatican City, 0.17 square miles of absolute power. It was a formidable and impressive view as we pulled up to a nearly empty St. Peter's Square. To the left, the imposing colonnades loomed overhead. Straight ahead, an Egyptian obelisk and St. Peter's Basilica. I ran like a bat out of hell toward the left entrance.
***
At the Excavation Office, I pulled out my Visa to pay. The attendant shook his head and pointed to a sign next to him. No credit cards. I knew this, of course, but I figured that maybe they had a secret credit card machine to be used for such occasions.

They didn't.

"Is there a currency exchange I can get to? I only have 9 Euros," I said, hoping my voice had the right amount of panic. "I don't suppose you take dollars..."

He shook his head again, then gave me a look of exasperation, one that inexplicably said, What am I to do with you? I cringed.

And then: "You will go wait outside and join the tour without a ticket."

I owe you one, Pope.
***
The excavation of the ruins underneath the current Basilica began around World War II. Although Rome was occupied by the Nazis, the Vatican supposedly wasn't. As Vatican history goes, there was no documentation of the excavation process underneath the Basilica to prevent discovery from the Nazi forces. The remains of what they believe to be St. Peter was discovered, confirmed later in the early 1960s. The tombs underneath date back to the 2nd and 3rd century with inscriptions like "He had a joke for everybody."

After the tour, I decided to climb to the top of the Basilica  all 500+ steps, thirsty and hungry, stopping first inside the cupola, looking down at the streams of tourists below, then looking up at the frescoed dome, followed by more climbing of stairs for the finale-- a killer view of the Square and miles of Rome. Pope & Co. are entrepreneurial bunch-- a little cafe outside of the top of the Basilica provides relief for the parched.

Swiss Guards are posted all over the Vatican. The Swiss, for all of their ingenuity, and the Italians, for all of their fashion genius, insist for whatever reason that the guards wear clown-like regalia of the type and kind seen at a second rate circus show. Valentino, I implore you: something must be done.
***
After roaming the insides of the Basilica, I stepped out into a drizzling Vatican Square, ready for a hot plate of bucatini alla amatriciana at Il Matriciano, a favorite of politicians, member of the papalcy, and local Roman celebrities and personalities. Bucatini is a kind of spaghetti with the insides hollowed out, a peculiar, but not unwelcome, texture. The amatriciana sauce is a robust tomato sauce, with bits of perfectly cured fatty pork and a light sprinkle of fragrant pecorino romano cheese mixed in.

Needless to say, the pasta was fantastico-- how is it that every pasta dish here is the right al dente texture?-- the atmosphere was rich and locals only. The waiters, thankfully, speak very little English. Which was exactly what I wanted-- to order in my awkward and otherwise terrible Italian and struggle for my food.
***
After walking down Ponte Sant'Angelo, it was time to traipse over to Caffe della Pace on Via della Pace. If the name itself doesn't sell you (Cafe of Peace!), Caffe della Pace is without question, the most charming bar and cafe, perched at the corner of the second most charming street in all of Rome (the first being Via Margutta). They offer a halfway decent aperitivo and espresso, which I did not try. I lingered for more than an hour, baby sitting my spritz and people watching in the rain.

For dinner, I had gelato at Grom in front of the fountains at Palazzo Navora. I decided that henceforth, a cup of gelato would be devoured every night, preferably in front of a fountain or a statute of naked men and/or beasts cavorting.
***

• Book the Scavi Tour at the Vatican here. 
• Exchange currency at the Vatican Bank for no commission fee. 
• Mail postcards from the Vatican Post Office. Vatican stamps!
• The gift shop takes dollars and gives change back in Euros. 
• Your credit cards, debit cards are not welcome at the Vatican.